Alternative

I realize you’re blind, but I still have to see what you’re wearing.  I thought your other senses were supposed to be extra sharp to make up for the lack of vision.  Couldn’t you tell that was a tweed jacket you put on over your beautiful dress this morning?  And I get that you’re probably trying to hide your Adam’s apple, but unless you’re entering a Mr. T lookalike contest, that many necklaces is unacceptable.

Now, let’s tackle your theory that government agents disguised as utility workers are keeping tabs on transgender lifestyles by sneaking into hermaphrodite’s homes on Sunday afternoons to steal cardigans and canned ham.  Is it possible, just maybe, that you can’t find those items because you’re, I don’t know, BLIND?

I’m sure you’re not just being paranoid.  I understand how working as a mall security guard could give you some insights into the mind of a criminal.  Wait; you worked as a what?  But you’re, no the other thing, you’re…but…never mind.  I’m leaving.

By the way, you have lipstick on your teeth.