Response

Thank you for keeping tabs on my driving habits.  You’re absolutely right to take eight seconds of my 10 hour shift and extrapolate that to mean I’m a hypocrite, above the law, and careless.  I’m only sorry you can’t spend more of your precious time examining my work routine with a microscope.

The problem with a microscope is its narrow perspective.  Staring intently at my tires doesn’t afford you the chance to see the car prowler duck behind the office building.  I saw him.  I made a split second decision that it was in the public’s best interest that I greet him rather than make sure there was a complete cessation of movement from my wheels before proceeding through the intersection.

Watching only my car’s lights means you might see me make a turn without signaling at least 100 feet prior.  It also means you won’t see the abusive husband driving through the neighborhood in an attempt to flee a crime scene.  I didn’t see him either, until I was already nosed into the intersection.  I guess I could have proceeded, found an appropriate place to legally turn around, and signaled before driving to where I saw him last.  Crap, he’s gone.  Oh well, at least I can sleep at night (day) knowing I didn’t commit any traffic violations.

It’s possible you could find me double-parked, partially blocking a driveway, parked within an intersection, or a no-parking zone, against a red curb, or even (gasp appropriately) within ten feet of a fire hydrant.  Whatever you do, make sure you first assume it’s because I’m lazy.  If you want to humor thoughts that it might have been important that I respond to a critical situation as quickly as possible, make sure to do so after reporting my behavior to my supervisor.

You’re right, this will be a much safer place to live when the police aren’t hiding behind their badges.  Make sure you identify yourself when you need us to respond for an emergency so we can proceed accordingly.

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