It doesn’t escape me that you’re only asking these questions to get under my skin, but I’m going to answer them anyway.

Do I enjoy my job?  As a matter of fact I do.  I put on over 30lbs of gear every day so I can be ready for everything from diligently taking notes on a harassment call to performing CPR to save your life.  I wear an uncomfortable ballistic vest that only stops a percentage of ammunition from passing through it because not everyone appreciates what I do.  I work while my family sleeps because dirtbags don’t keep banker’s hours.  Why would anyone do a job like that if they didn’t enjoy it?

You’re right; you’re asking the questions.

Do I enjoy hassling people?  Absolutely.  I hassled a guy for smacking his wife around recently.  I enjoyed giving his wife some piece of mind and a few options for keeping him away.  I hassled a woman for driving 20mph over the speed limit last week.  I enjoyed making a popular crosswalk safer for pedestrians.  I hassled a kid for tagging a fence once.  I enjoyed helping that neighborhood stay attractive.  I enjoy holding people responsible for their actions.

How do I sleep at night?  You’re obviously not paying attention.  I sleep during the day, and it’s not easy.  It has nothing to do with guilt though, as you’re suggesting.  I black out my bedroom window as best I can, turn on the bathroom fan, put in ear plugs, wear an eye mask, and threaten my kids with dismemberment if they wake me up.

By the way, like your skull, my skin is thick.  Any more questions?

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