Target

Do yourself a favor.  If you’re going to leave your stereo, cell phone, GPS unit, purse, wallet, sunglasses, marijuana, or any combination of the aforementioned items in plain view in your vehicle that you park on the street, leave your door unlocked.  At least then you won’t have to pick up 2374 sharp squares of tempered glass before you can sit down in the front seat again.

I understand in a perfect world you shouldn’t have to worry about someone breaking into your car and stealing your hard earned stuff.  In my perfect world, I wouldn’t have to take a theft report from someone who thinks patchouli oil is a substitute for good hygiene.

Thieves are lazy.  That’s why they do what they do.  Who would want to flip burgers all week just to be able to afford an iPod (assuming said person lives in their parent’s garage and doesn’t have any living expenses) when you can sit around all day (in the garage/room) smoking dope and eating funyuns (that mom bought)?  Don’t encourage that lifestyle by making it easy for them.  Spend seven seconds making sure you don’t leave anything in your car that might cause you to be a target.  Use that seven seconds to smell yourself.

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