Ashtray

It’s been a month since it last rained, which is an eternity around here, not to mention the record heat the thick-blooded locals had to endure last week. So, to answer your question, yeah, it’s kind of a big deal to flick a lit cigarette out the window and into the brush on the side of the highway. It will be a big deal to me in January too because I’ve never been a big fan of the whole “the world is my ashtray” attitude of the common black-lung.

I realize you’re probably not going to be alive long enough to see the negative effects you’re creating in my district, but that’s your choice, and I will be. I’m no tree-hugging, anti-fur, fundamentalist, eco-loving, granola-eating hippie; not that there’s anything wrong with that. I just hate litter. It looks bad.

Littering is lazy. You can’t walk 20 feet from your car without passing a trash can. You have to go out of your way to avoid trash cans. How hard could it be to carry a little garbage from your car, in a direction you’re already traveling, and just drop it in a receptacle?

I realize you have change in your ashtray. That’s a great place to put change. I currently have $3.79 cents in my ashtray, but I don’t smoke. Take the 12 coins out of your ashtray and stick you cigarettes in there. If you don’t want cigarette butts stinking up the inside of your car I can suggest another place to put them. There’s also the ridiculously logical choice of not smoking in the car, so I know that’s out.

Here’s your citation for throwing fire out of your car. Unless you want a warrant out for your arrest, you should show up to court on time. Keep the citation somewhere safe so you don’t lose it, like, I don’t know, maybe the ashtray.

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2 Responses to Ashtray

  1. Mike ballard says:

    Was just wondering your thoughts on me giving people back their lit cigarette buts, when I can while I am riding my bike. Oh, hey, you just dropped this and I thought you might want it back, and then I toss their still lit butt into their backseat.

    • inkedcop says:

      Mike, I remember you saying something about that on the 2G1B podcast and it made me laugh so hard I cried. I wish there was some sort of award I could give you for that. I certainly wouldn’t cite or arrest for such a genius move.

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