What do you mean, “What were we supposed to do?” It wouldn’t have been more obvious if you’d signed some sort of contract before driving the rental car off the lot. Oh wait, you did. Then it should have been obvious that what you were supposed to do if you kept the car past the rental agreement was…wait for it…wait for it…return it, you dolt.

Yes, there would have been a late-fee. Now, there’s going to be a really-late-fee, the jail’s medical-fee, the attorney-fee, the psychological exam-fee, and the probation-fee. Fortunately for you, you already paid for a week at this local flop motel, so your pitbulls have somewhere to live until you can post bail.

Unfortunately for you, we run every license plate that pulls in or out of this dive’s parking lot. Unfortunatelier, you checked into the motel with the same name and the same credit card you used to rent the car in the first place. We don’t usually catch the smart ones, at least not this easily.

Your room does have a shower doesn’t it, cuz dang?

Make sure you read the jail’s release agreement carefully. The court isn’t as forgiving as AVIS.

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