I’m proud of you. I can’t imagine rehab is an easy decision to make, much less an easy process to complete. I’m not sure what step you’re on, but I’m glad you’re making an effort to get rid of your vices. I have a suggestion for future attempts to kick the habit. Don’t call your mom from the center and tell her you need to sell the rest of your dope before your supplier comes looking for his cut.

If you’re going to say that to her, don’t tell her where in your room the green is hidden. If you’re going to tell her where it’s hidden, you should probably specify that she doesn’t call the police to find out the best way to get rid of your broccoli. If she’s going to hand deliver your chronic to the po-po, tell her to at least take it out of all the individual baggies so you don’t look like a dealer. Of course, this is all information for future reference. You won’t have to worry about any of that until you’ve dealt with these felony charges.

By the way, if you’re supplier wants to know where all his quiche is, you can give him my number.

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