Things to do today:
1. Ingest a concoction of crystalized poison that will eventually melt your face – Check
2. Find a house in a quiet neighborhood with an open garage door – Check
3. Grab as many power tools as one man can possibly carry and run down the street – Check
4. Remember how to get out of the neighborhood – Crap
5. Don’t acknowledge the police officer trying to get your attention – Check
6. Remember the logical story you made up in case you got caught with stolen property – Crap
7. Repeat the same ridiculous story over and over if you forget the good one – Check
8. Call the cop a jerk if he won’t cite and release you – Check
9. Cry – check

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