How your kids get to school in the morning isn’t my problem. That’s something you should have thought about before you drank enough champagne to float the Titanic. Besides, they have to be there in less than four hours. Four hours from now you will have only improved to incredibly intoxicated. They’d be safer riding Razor scooters down the middle of the street blindfolded than getting in a car with you. I don’t think you’ll even be sober enough to drive them to school tomorrow. I’m sure even they know that all the solid and dashed lines in the road are there for a reason. They could probably also teach you a thing or two about responsibility. The way I see it, I saved more than just your life tonight, I saved your kids as well. That’s how I sleep at night, thank you for asking.

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