Follow

That was very conscientious of you to follow your drunk friend home. I’m sure you had the best of intentions. I’ll bet you would have stopped him if he was weaving too much, or if he appeared to be reacting slower than normal to obstacles in the road. I have no doubt you would have made him pull over somehow if you thought he was a danger to himself or others on the road. I know you would have immediately called 911 if he happened to T-Bone a mother and her two daughters on their way home from Baskin Robins.

Unfortunately, that’s probably not what would have happened. Most likely, you would have rushed to your friend’s aid after checking to see that no one else saw the accident. Most likely, you would have quickly helped him into your car. Most likely, you would have fled the scene and cowered in your living room until you came up with a brilliant excuse for why the local fourth grade class has a Camry where the front row of desks used to be.

Fortunately for us, and grade school students everywhere, you weren’t doing a very good job of keeping your inebriated friend out of sight. You can follow him again if you want. He’ll be going to the county jail this time. I’ll drive.

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