I realize your taxes pay my salary, that doesn’t mean you get to order me around. First of all, you don’t make enough money for your taxes to cover the cost of the handcuffs I just put on you. Second, you don’t get to press charges against her for hitting you. She was trying to keep you from strangling her. I’m a little disappointed she didn’t get some better shots in.

Every law has exceptions. When it comes to punching someone, self-defense is one of those exceptions. Personally, I wouldn’t have blamed her for smacking you just for wearing that shirt in public. Unfortunately for you, she has a better reason than that.

I’m not taking her side because she’s a woman. I’m an equal opportunity enforcer. I’m taking her side because her story adds up, and yours doesn’t. I’m taking her side because she was waiting by the front door when we arrived, and you were trying to sneak out the back. I’m taking her side so the jail will get to choose what you wear for a while.

Relax and try to enjoy the ride to the jail, after all, you payed for it.

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