It’s not my job to do you any favors. Do I look like a maitre d? I’m perfectly happy with you going to juvenile detention. Why would I want to go out of my way, and jeopardize my career, so you can NOT learn from another bad decision?

Yeah, I probably could convince your brother to not press charges. I guarantee I could convince your mom to forget that you were the instigator. But that would negate the sweet talking I did with the juvenile department to find you a bed in the first place.

I have no doubt you would make good on your promise to go straight to bed if I took you home. You’re the most believable teenager I’ve dealt with all year. The problem is, that’s what you should have done in the first place, instead of hitting your brother in the face with a DVD player.

I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but I am actually doing you a favor. Even when you sober up in two days you probably won’t see it that way, but I’ll cross my fingers. I’m not gonna hold my breath though.

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