I understand situations can be dynamic. Maybe you didn’t have time to put any pants on because your girlfriend was trying to perform reconstructive surgery on your face with a frying pan. I understand you also might have a lot of things on your mind when you call 911, and some important information might slip through the cracks. There are some things we can’t afford for you to not tell us, like what type of weapons are involved in a fight.

There are other things that are pretty important too. If you call 911, and scream that you need police because there’s a violent fight at your house, and you say people are bleeding, you might want to throw a little more information out there. In your case, next time of course, please let us know that everyone at the house is covered in fake blood, because regular makeup is so yesterday. It will help me react properly when you come running up to me with what appears to be a severe head wound, when in fact it’s just Thursday’s theme.

I’m very excited that you’ve found an interesting hobby that your good at, but again, warn us. I’m definitely going to swing by your house on Halloween though, please don’t disappoint me.

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