Stolen

The phrase, “Drive it like you stole it,” is just an expression. Had you driven anywhere close to the speed limit you would be home right now enjoying your new car. I’m not trying to second guess your decisions, but the busiest road in the county, that isn’t a freeway, probably wasn’t the best place to put the first five miles on your new car’s odometer. It probably didn’t help that you were under the influence of alcohol, and whatever drug was causing your auditory hallucinations. And just for future reference, it never has bothered me when people I arrest repeatedly smash their faces against the plexiglass partition in my patrol car. I’m not sure what you’re trying to accomplish, but unless it’s my amusement, you’re failing. I have another expression for you, and you would be wise to follow this one. Don’t drop the soap.

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One Response to Stolen

  1. Big C says:

    I spit my coffee out my nose! Don’t drop the soap. Just the deadpan way you delivered it was HI-larious. Great post.

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