There’s more to being a good bouncer than having big muscles. The fact that they don’t make shirts with sleeves big enough to get around your biceps doesn’t mean you’re right for this job. A good bouncer can exercise control without ever putting his hands on another person. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when you’re going to have to introduce some idiot to your knuckles, but those times should be rare. When police have to constantly respond to your drinking establishment because you’re unable to get people to leave, and for fights that you’re involved in, you’ve got problems. If we’re not even out of the parking lot before the next fracas starts, you’re doing something wrong. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say you might be the problem. Don’t blame it on the clientele, these are the same people filling the other five or six bars within a three block radius.

I already have a job, I shouldn’t have to do yours too. If your boss wants to add me to the payroll then I’ll gladly respond when you can’t figure out how to get the out of control, 120 pound, drunk female out of the club. Otherwise, maybe you should try learning how to use your big boy words before using your big boy muscles. If you can’t get a handle on your job there’s a pretty good chance this place will lose it’s liquor license, and I’m pretty sure everyone doesn’t come here for those fantastic pool tables.

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