Priorities

As a matter of fact, no, I don’t have anything better to do. If I had something better to do, I would be doing it. I wasn’t driving down the road thinking, “Gee, there are so many cool things I could be doing right now, but instead, I think I’ll go harass that woman for driving down the road with no tail lights.” Everything I do as a cop, I do because I don’t have anything better to do. When I stop a guy for riding his bike on the street without a light, it’s because I can’t find a car driving down the street with no tail lights. When I stop a car with no tail lights, it’s because I can’t find a car that’s speeding. When I stop a car that’s speeding, it’s because I can’t find someone driving drunk. When I stop someone for driving drunk, it’s because no one is currently beating up their spouse. When I stop someone from beating up their spouse, it’s because no one is currently stabbing someone else. The list goes on and on. We call them priorities. Right now, you’re the highest priority I have. Please forgive me for wasting your time on such a trivial violation. I’m sure you’ll forget all about this conversation tomorrow though, when I am stopping someone from beating up their spouse, and you’re calling every four minutes to ask how much longer it’s going to take for me to respond to your upstairs neighbors that are playing their movie too loud. Sorry, I have better things to do.

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