Crash

You failed to negotiate a turn and drove your $35,000 ultimate driving machine through a residential brick wall.  If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought the Kool-Aid Man escaped from the back yard.

You didn’t get out of the car to assess the damage to your German enginerred vehicle or the wall, but you were planning on talking to the homeowner in the morning.

You sped off down the road, leaving a trail of car parts behind.  The parts included the headlight assembly mixed in with the bricks strewn across the sidewalk, the side-view mirror 30 feet down the road, part of the undercarriage two blocks further than that, and the front passenger wheel (suspension included) four blocks past the undercarriage. 

You drove the last block on three wheels.

You went inside the house and straight to bed, falling into such a deep sleep in the 20 minutes it took us to find your house that you couldn’t be roused by three cops banging on your door until our knuckles hurt.

Did I miss anything?  Oh, you’ve never been in a crash before, so you didn’t know what to do?  Children that don’t even have complete control of their bowels yet would know what to do.  

Guess what?  I know what to do.  Turn around and put your hands behind your back.  We’re going for a little drive.  If I happen to drive through a wall, I’ll show you what you should have done.

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